Full-on Eardrum Assault

Ah, busking in the subway... a time honored tradition that in New York takes place both in stations and on the trains themselves. Unfortunately, the subway is like one big open mic night. If you're lucky, you get someone great, like those dudes who sing gospel in four part harmony or some off-duty Symphony violinist. Slightly less fortunate, you might get a mariachi band serenade your car. Still tolerable, occasionally entertaining. Further down the gamut, a guitarist who only plays cheesy Beatles covers (my least favorite of which inhabits the tunnel between the 6th Avenue F/V and the 7th Avenue 1/2/3, he's too damn happy and changes most of the minor chords in the songs to major chords cause he's JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY), or some dude who likes to drum on buckets. But if you are as unfortunate as me, this is the full on eardrum assault you are subjected to after work on a near-daily basis:

Drunk Polish Accordion player is busking on the Union Square L train platform nearly every day in the evening rush hour. I don't really have anything against the accordion per se... it has its time and place and makes you feel like you're in a French film... but this dude can't even actually play. He is all over the place with wrong notes, changing tunes midway through, stopping and starting and speeding up and slowing down. And yet, somehow he's decided this is his calling and somehow he snags that prime Union Square L platform spot nearly EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. More often than not I have a headache at this time of day and am likely irate from 8 hours of my life sucked away sitting in front of a computer. And then... accordion man, out to further irritate me.

So on the particular night that I took this video, I endured more than ten minutes of this guy waiting for the delayed L. Finally, relief for my eardrums... Oh wait, NOPE. It's schizophrenic free-jazz saxophone dude in my car... WHY ME GOD????

Dude continues to play all the way to Bedford... the horror. The injustice. Just as I was about to yell out "I'll pay you to stop!" he offers, "if you pay me I'll stop!" Well played, schizophrenic free-jazz saxophone dude. Well played.