weekend warrior

Dear MTA:

How about we simplify things and you just tell me the one weekend this year you are planning on running the L? I'm thinking that will probably be easiet for everyone. k, thanks.

-Heather

Saturday Night's Alright (For Pooping)

this was spotted at 28th St. & Broadway N/R stop this past weekend:

normally i'd write something mildly amusing to accompany the picture, but I'm too busy vomiting. 

(thanks to Sean for bravely stopping to snap this pic)

as if you needed another reason to avoid the L train in the morning...

...you can now add crazy raging fat black ladies to the list.

there are so many things to love about this video:

i use the word "love" loosely here to mean amuse, concern, baffle, etc. here's a short list of highlights...

- that some woman is dumb enough to spray mace in the face of another woman while her own child is a mere few inches away
- that the baby stroller goes rolling right off the train and said woman doesn't even notice
- that no one even tries to break this up, everyone just runs away
- the part where the woman in the white has to pick her weave up off the floor of the train (perhaps this incident sheds some light onto this mystery from last year...)
- that this is on the L train
- wait, did that lady really mace that other lady at 9:37am? seriously???

ONLY IN NEW YORK.

(thanks to the lovely and amazing Sara for sending this in!)

Not If You Were the Last Junkie on Earth

i guess this gray's papaya dog wasn't quite gray enough for her....never fear, a little subway grime should help with that!

thank you to Natalie for sending this in.

Spit shine

Oh, I just love crazies on the subway and the people that ignore them as though nothing is happening.  This guy forgot to visit the cobbler that morning so thought he would do a little spit shine himself.

Um...

My friend James took this, so I'm not entirely sure what's going on here.  I really hope there is a kid under there, otherwise this guy is just a grown man who really likes cartoons of little girls riding the subway.

A week in subway riding

This week, the following bizarre occurrences happened to me on the subway:

1) My L train car smelled like a skunk. Having grown up on the edge of a forest in Northern California, this is a smell that I am all too familiar with. I've smelled some terrible things on the subway (using having to do with crazies who do not bath or late-night vomit) but where on earth could this skunk odor come from?

2) I sat next to a guy who burped the entire way from Union Square to my stop at Graham Ave on the L. He kept trying to cover it up with a napkin but in a way that just made it more gross. It was that special kind of burp like when your mom has had too much diet coke.

3) Heather and I ran into the infamous "Free Bouncy Rides" dolphin/perv late on a Friday night at the 1st Avenue L train platform.



Neither blog editor opted for a ride.

Full-on Eardrum Assault

Ah, busking in the subway... a time honored tradition that in New York takes place both in stations and on the trains themselves. Unfortunately, the subway is like one big open mic night. If you're lucky, you get someone great, like those dudes who sing gospel in four part harmony or some off-duty Symphony violinist. Slightly less fortunate, you might get a mariachi band serenade your car. Still tolerable, occasionally entertaining. Further down the gamut, a guitarist who only plays cheesy Beatles covers (my least favorite of which inhabits the tunnel between the 6th Avenue F/V and the 7th Avenue 1/2/3, he's too damn happy and changes most of the minor chords in the songs to major chords cause he's JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY), or some dude who likes to drum on buckets. But if you are as unfortunate as me, this is the full on eardrum assault you are subjected to after work on a near-daily basis:

Drunk Polish Accordion player is busking on the Union Square L train platform nearly every day in the evening rush hour. I don't really have anything against the accordion per se... it has its time and place and makes you feel like you're in a French film... but this dude can't even actually play. He is all over the place with wrong notes, changing tunes midway through, stopping and starting and speeding up and slowing down. And yet, somehow he's decided this is his calling and somehow he snags that prime Union Square L platform spot nearly EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. More often than not I have a headache at this time of day and am likely irate from 8 hours of my life sucked away sitting in front of a computer. And then... accordion man, out to further irritate me.

So on the particular night that I took this video, I endured more than ten minutes of this guy waiting for the delayed L. Finally, relief for my eardrums... Oh wait, NOPE. It's schizophrenic free-jazz saxophone dude in my car... WHY ME GOD????

Dude continues to play all the way to Bedford... the horror. The injustice. Just as I was about to yell out "I'll pay you to stop!" he offers, "if you pay me I'll stop!" Well played, schizophrenic free-jazz saxophone dude. Well played.

Ugh, I keep running into my ex boyfriend on the L train, its so awkward

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Burrrrning Rubber

Obviously, there are a lot of things wrong with the subway. tons. we have more stuff on file to bitch about than we have time to actually get up on this blog. However, as much as we complain about the subway, having a car in the city just ain't worth it, as evidenced by this picture we found today on Gothamist:

It's called Zip Car; get with the program people.


(Thanks to Jess for sending this one in.)

Rise and Grime!

Having lived in New York for over a decade now, we here at I Hate the Subway have had our fair share of runs in with rats over the years (most notably as evidenced by this 2005 NY Times article).

Look, we realize the subway tracks, and even the platform, are fair game for rats...but the train itself??  No one expects to find one there, sitting next to you, or under your feet, just hanging out...until, today when gothamist posted this video:

 

If that's not a reason to never fall asleep on the subway, i don't know what is. What surprises me most is how no one on the train seems to be  upset or even all that concerned (aside from the guy who was smart enough to capture this on video). The sight of just a wee little mouse is enough to make most people (ok, women) jump up and down screaming, and yet no one in this train car seems all that freaked out. All I have to say is, if this ever happens in my train car, I highly suggest you hide your eardrums.

(Thanks to Natila and Ian for sending this in!)

No pants subway ride: making the subway grosser than it already is

3500 people this weekend participated in Improv Everywhere's annual No Pants Subway Ride. While many performance-art inclined people relished the opportunity to take part in a modesty-free flash mob, we here at I Hate the Subway see little difference between a No Pants Subway Ride and this guy:



Keep your junk off my seat, please.


Thanks to Subway Douchery for the photo.

Rude Awakening

Thanks to Gawker for this video

Using your legs is so 2010

Regarding the last post about the increase in Metrocard price, has everyone else noticed these crazy NYPD segway type thingies in the Union Square subway station?

As far as I can tell, the main purpose of these is to go bowling for people. Oh and maybe so tourists can take photos and post them to their facebook page.

$104???

I mean seriously MTA? $104 for a monthly metrocard? What are you going to put down there, solid gold rails? Luxury sleeper cars so I can take a nap? Complimentary Starbucks Grande Lattes with every ride? The MOMA permanent collection? Unicorns?!?!?

Fuck you MTA. How about maybe doing something about the G train before you wallet-rape me.

Signed,

I Hate the Subway blog